Bat Mitzvah Mermaid

I really should have known better.

Let me explain:

Once I was hired to body paint 13 year olds at a Bat Mitzvah party. A car came to pick me up and drove me out to someplace in New Jersey. I set up my paints on a little table and waited. One by one the girls came by, and I painted decorative flower or paisley arrangements on arms, shoulders and ankles. Some wanted matching bracelets with their friends.

Then some boys came by. "Don't you have something not so girly?" one of them asked. "Well, what would you like?" I replied, hoping for something not too complicated. "I want a mermaid," the boy said. What could be more natural, I thought, a 13 year old boy wants a big gnarly sailor tattoo of a mermaid. I complied and the boy went away happy.

In my innocence, I neglected to clothe the top portion of the mermaid in a fashionable clam-shell bikini top, and painted her as nature intended. Within minutes, I was surrounded by boisterous 13 year old boys, all wanting similarly clad adornments from my paintbrush. "I want a mermaid like he had, only I want mine with LEGS," one said. "So, in other words, you want a naked lady? Am I going to get into trouble for this?" I asked. "Oh no, not at all," they replied.

And so I painted away, trying to keep the hordes of excited boys at bay. Later that evening one of the parents stopped by. "Do you think you could possibly make the tattoos a little less graphic?" he politely whispered in my ear.

Uh oh.